Math make me nervous.

My math class is somewhat behind schedule and I am trying to get some answers about where this class is going, but I am especially nervous about working in groups. We were supposed to going into groups for two week now and I am getting more and more anxious about the situation because I am not a math person and I feel badly asking for help because it is such a simple math. It came to me so easily in High School and I don't know why I am not getting it right now. The project that we would do in groups is about finances and it is worth 150 points out of a 700 point system. So I think that I am aprehendent doing this in groups. Added to this, I don't know anyone in the class, which I don't think is going to be a problem because I don't think that may people know each other in that class, the project will be the thing that pulls us together. 
I am scared of my thoughts about suicide. They are arising again, but I am showing myself off as if everything is alright, good or great. I miss my childhood, I miss comfortability. I feel so tense now. Today i was panicking before geology this morning so I took a xanax, but I am afraid that if I take xanax I may not remember what happened in class. Tomorrow we are doing God knows what in Math and in Social Justice we are meeting the director of the "Handmaid's Tale" on their stage. This is a university run play that I hated and I don't want to tell the director this but I want to know what the hell happened last Thursday night. Then theatre we have a guest speaker and we are going over the midterm material. 
i am sitting here watching TV and writing and drinking a 77 and I really don't want a hangover tomorrow so i suppose just one more for the night. It is just nice to have something to knock myself out with at the end of the night.
Goodnight moon.