Marty
I got bored tonight and watched an old movie called Marty. I'd heard good things about this film for most of my life, but it just didn't look good. I was pleasantly surprised, finding parallels in my own life.
For example, Marty has a 56 year old widowed aunt whose life is her married son. She has no other purpose in life and is described as an old woman. She looks older than her 56 years as most did at the time this movie was filmed(1954). At one point in the film she talked about the emptiness of her life and how being a widow is a curse. She lived with her son and daughter-in-law, but they wanted her out. They wanted their own lives.
This poor woman looked at her life and wondered what she would do. Her purpose had been to cook and clean, and care for her husband and children. Now they were all grown and gone and her husband had passed on.
Funny. My life is so different and yet I share a lot in common with this woman. I'm 57 for one. And although I've been mistaken for a woman in her late 30s, I'm alone and widowed, and recently left my job. Whereas her purpose had been caring for her husband and children; my purpose had been caring for my husband and job. And like this character I wonder about the future.
I think for the most part that most people spend so much time concentrating on one or two areas of their lives that you don't know what to do with yourself when you lose it. You have children and suddenly you're about being a soccer mom. You work and you're focused on climbing the career ladder. But what of the future? when no matter how much you love what you've done with your life, it's suddenly over.
Sure, you can find another job and there are grandkids, but at some point most of us will face a moment where we've got to get used to being by ourselves and finding a new niche in life. I think the trick is finding that niche before it finds you.
Last year I spent the better part of a year reading retirement books. It wasn't about saving money and travel--instead the focus was on finding a new passion in life and doing it before the last day of your job.
So I looked into things, making new friends, joining groups. And here I am, ready to go on with the next chapter in my life. Still, I really want a job that will give me a place to go, a place to complain about, a place to hate, and a place that I can't wait to get away from. I want to go back to looking at my watch and counting the days to my next day off. I miss having a boss that was a terrible manager and having coworkers that stab you in the back.
How crazy is that?
Ah! the good ole' days.
For example, Marty has a 56 year old widowed aunt whose life is her married son. She has no other purpose in life and is described as an old woman. She looks older than her 56 years as most did at the time this movie was filmed(1954). At one point in the film she talked about the emptiness of her life and how being a widow is a curse. She lived with her son and daughter-in-law, but they wanted her out. They wanted their own lives.
This poor woman looked at her life and wondered what she would do. Her purpose had been to cook and clean, and care for her husband and children. Now they were all grown and gone and her husband had passed on.
Funny. My life is so different and yet I share a lot in common with this woman. I'm 57 for one. And although I've been mistaken for a woman in her late 30s, I'm alone and widowed, and recently left my job. Whereas her purpose had been caring for her husband and children; my purpose had been caring for my husband and job. And like this character I wonder about the future.
I think for the most part that most people spend so much time concentrating on one or two areas of their lives that you don't know what to do with yourself when you lose it. You have children and suddenly you're about being a soccer mom. You work and you're focused on climbing the career ladder. But what of the future? when no matter how much you love what you've done with your life, it's suddenly over.
Sure, you can find another job and there are grandkids, but at some point most of us will face a moment where we've got to get used to being by ourselves and finding a new niche in life. I think the trick is finding that niche before it finds you.
Last year I spent the better part of a year reading retirement books. It wasn't about saving money and travel--instead the focus was on finding a new passion in life and doing it before the last day of your job.
So I looked into things, making new friends, joining groups. And here I am, ready to go on with the next chapter in my life. Still, I really want a job that will give me a place to go, a place to complain about, a place to hate, and a place that I can't wait to get away from. I want to go back to looking at my watch and counting the days to my next day off. I miss having a boss that was a terrible manager and having coworkers that stab you in the back.
How crazy is that?
Ah! the good ole' days.
Replies
I want the same things as you do. I hope we achieve our goals.
My grandson should be coming over today. If I didn\'t babysit, I would go stark raving mad.
taking care of house, husband, child, yard, snow blowing and mowing, tree cutting/trimming, painting, wallpapering and on and on....and now without someone to do it for (other than me) I really don\'t care if it gets done or not....
Well, I\'m different than you! I love being retired and NOT having to be looking at my watch and looking for my next day off. LOL The only thing is the plans that Joe and I made, of course, are no more. Wish he could have stayed here, but, it wasn\'t to be.
My youngest daughter and little granddaughter surprised me today by being at church when I arrived!! So, I got to spend time with them after church, and my oldest daughter also. Also, spent a little time with 3 of my grandsons and the little great-grand daughter. (My grandson is not actually her biological father, but, absolutely loves her and has happily taken her as his own). I don\'t get to see her very often, so, am not really attached to her yet. She is sweet though!
I just go with the flow around here and am content.