Married life

My husband is really involved in the church to where I know I just dont belong, most days i just dont go. I went this morning and i honestly can not remember what i learned. Then after church we stood around for a while because he likes to socialize but i guess they were disscussing going out to eat then go to a beach. he asked me if we could go in front of a group of like 20 people and i felt all their eyes on me. I panic ed and said i have to get ready for work but you can go, when really i wanted to spend time with him not have him come home early from work just for sex fall asleep and then go to his other job. that is what he usually does or he doesnt come home at all. weekends he usually has off but he worked for over time and i didnt see him until i had to go to work. so i was hoping sunday we ll go to church and do something after but no instead he went to the beach i know i couldve  gone but i really dont know anybody, at all he does. i cant wait to have this child, maybe he ll be my lil companion.