managing but in a new way...reflections?

I just wondered if you guys have any reflections on this. Yesterday I found myself getting totally anxious about having a lot to take care of. I have a very 'small' manageable life whereas I once had a much more demanding life. Ultimately I got things done that I needed to do. I have found that I just need to keep going one step in front of the other.. So like..I concluded.. the more I have to do, the more I can do (I think.)

Today after doing all the work that needed to get done - I wasn't ok anymore with sitting in front of the TV - finding peace and solace in my own little order (which is how I have been managing in the recent past.) I couldn't figure out what to do with myself and that kind of made me feel bad and I kind of thought about the need to continue to learn how to deal with myself (because my mood started to swing big) - and that seems to evolve and change every day. I feel mighty ungrounded and it takes quite an effort to be the person I feel I ought to be - but maybe if I look at it with a positive twist I can appreciate that my ability to have a fresh look at things could be a valuable asset.

I feel like this changeability within me can be really hard to take but to be able to continue to climb out of it might be important. I feel pretty untethered but somehow I am finding the insight into it. I don't have insight so readily - it takes a lot of work...I am calming down. I think if I just remember that my own little order of things - that I had before - was based on managing and experience and having ideas for managing this variability. Perhaps I don't need to throw all ideas out the window when making a change- and then conversely I best not be too afraid to do new things and have new challenges.

Ok this is making sense now! :)

I hope all is well.

Also, I have been invited to join a Buddhist prayer group. I am thinking about doing it! :)