managing at home like I do at work

I got a phone call earlier today - sometime after I wrote the post about "things are good"-

yes I learned something important by that phone call.

The person who called was seemingly gruff and from what I sensed (which my paranoia so wonderfully provides...not!)

when I got off the call, I felt uncomfortable and began ruminating and spinned paranoia and frustration/anger.

I realize I can't do that....or I ought to try to not do that.... What came to me ultimately was to

manage myself by the same way I do at work here at home. I don't have a choice but to stay 

even keeled at work - at least how I think about things and deal with them...it makes me happier in the end.

So I reckon that maybe I need to do that here too. I mean I know I do to a certain extent here it's just that

I think when I am alone my perspective is lost a lot. 

Today's call made my paranoia really empowered with a whole narrative that may or may not have been real.

I became angry - I became upset - and so I realized I need to be able to stick my neck above water

without have the waves that hit my face make me drown and thus stop breathing or swimming.

Today inspired me a great deal...just in what I started to observe - because what if what I sensed was real?

Then it inspires me to do more....If it's not real - then it also inspires me to learn to keep managing my 

mental health very much as well at home as I do at work.. out there in public....

It's kind of freeing.

It also makes me look at others how they manage...how someone reacts too...it just helps me

have a greater sense of compassion.