making sense of things

don't know why but I need to make sense of things - I guess you could call it 'processing' my experience? Perhaps

we all do it to an extent.

I went to my parents' house earlier today and prior to going, I was feeling really humble. I had come to

a conclusion that I a like a receptacle or a vessel for my experience and others.. It felt like maturity and adulthood.

To be ready to help others, and deal with myself as well...at least that 'particular process' was heading in that direction..

when I arrived at my parents' house - I kind of just melted into the furniture as Dad and Stepmom, dealt with the things

that they were doing - getting ready for lunch and taking care of some business issues.
I continued to melt into the furniture and watched tv - though I offered my help with a couple of things they needed.

I tried to be helpful and I think I was.

Then my sister and niece arrived and it was good to see them. The conversation meandered all over the place and we had lunch - talking, sharing...and eating.

Now I came back home and before I left my Dad and sister took me aside. They know I struggle with life and life issues. They urged me to go ahead and fill my life, make my life into what I want it to be, "You are worthy."
I so appreciated that.

I came home on a high note - but it felt quite different than how I imagined the day would end - and how it was before I left.. I kind of have to process things to get back to a place in my head where I can deal with myself and my time alone.

I struggle with that too. I felt like a different person after lunch and I kind of need to sit here and type it out, regroup and make sense of things.. process. I wonder what's next.. that will be my choice! :)