making roses to smell

have you ever heard of the notion 'to be sure to stop and smell the roses'?

well sometimes I am realizing you have to make the roses, your roses, the roses you stop and smell.

this morning went well, with the deliveries I did for my parents' business, and then i came

home, only to start feeling the woe of emptiness in my apartment, but I am realizing

that heaviness you can't allow to close the lid on your day..nearly like the top of your head

is the lid and the sadnesss is pulling that lid down upon the jar of body.... I have Blue to think about

and give caresses and cuddles too but also, and probably more importantly, I know

now I need to make the activity I sorely need to have in my life to stave off the sadness

and the loneliness that can creep in. I am trying to release it, not hold onto it - let it go..

and keep on keeping on...

I went to a Catholic mass yesterday...and it was nice...it was different from what I am used

to...but for a while being there it felt like we were all on the same page...and that was nice...

and then, when it was over, back to reality! :)

I'm not feeling terribly sad now but I want to write about this. I am looking forward to going

back to work tomorrow...To have somewhere to go - and something to do - and to be with people

all striving to make the machine of our business survive and go go go.

Right now I am avoiding the television and tomorrow I talk to my Therapist.

I am sending peace and good wishes to you guys that in the face of your solitude, you can

let go and not hang on to the heaviness enough that you can then see what happy things

you can give yourself today.