making coffee and watching Smithsonian Channel

I already spent a bunch of money on groceries, and coffee and muffins at the bakery.

I thought of going to the movies and maybe out to lunch - but I've really 

'blown my wad' (pardon the expression) this week. I really liked the lifestyle

but I have to be real about stuff. Why don't I just make more money??! ....a good idea!

Things are alright. I realize I do worry a lot - and anxiety has kind of been pointed

out to me by other therapists as well as friends.

Sometimes I feel calmer and more in touch with a sense of knowing about things.

Other times I will feel so weak and out of control but I what's calming to me

is to keep as self responsible as possible, humble and just keep on keeping on.

I can't always do it  - but there are other things to my life that I like. I can't be all self denial -

I like some fun things too. I don't know.... I guess I am just trying to deal with my empty space

here and have a sense of knowing.