Maine Tall Tales
How Cold Was it?
A New Yorker flew in for a holiday on Lake Chesuncook last July. One night by the campfire, his Maine guide entertained him with winter tales. "There are snow drifts taller than spruce trees; winds are so frosty that your breath freezes solid as soon as it leaves your lips, littering the ground with lumps that occasionally need to be shoveled into a pile. There are two seasons up here - winter and the Fourth of July." "Well," said the urbanite, "we have cold snaps in the city, but nothing like what you describe. How do you manage under such conditions?" "Me?" replied the guide, "I don't stand it, not anymore. Before it freezes up solid, I pack up my gear, find the wife, and go down south to stay warm for the winter." "Florida?" asked the New Yorker. "Nope," said the guide, "Portland."
A New Yorker flew in for a holiday on Lake Chesuncook last July. One night by the campfire, his Maine guide entertained him with winter tales. "There are snow drifts taller than spruce trees; winds are so frosty that your breath freezes solid as soon as it leaves your lips, littering the ground with lumps that occasionally need to be shoveled into a pile. There are two seasons up here - winter and the Fourth of July." "Well," said the urbanite, "we have cold snaps in the city, but nothing like what you describe. How do you manage under such conditions?" "Me?" replied the guide, "I don't stand it, not anymore. Before it freezes up solid, I pack up my gear, find the wife, and go down south to stay warm for the winter." "Florida?" asked the New Yorker. "Nope," said the guide, "Portland."
Replies
Hahahha ~ but I know the joke is about Portland, Maine! Portland, Oregon would be even better as it has a mild climate with not a lot of snow. We don\'t get a lot of snow where I live though usually there\'s some good snow up in the hills. The past three years we\'ve been having a drought ~ not enough rain to fill the reservoirs. Also we need the snow melt from the hills to fill the rivers during the summer ~ there\'s very little snow up there this year. I think they were struggling to keep the ski area open ~ I\'m sure that wasn\'t a problem in Maine!
I know you\'re gonna be looking at South Carolina as your possible place to \"move down south.\" Certainly can\'t blame ya for wanting to see the last of Maine winters ;~)
Yeah, but Portland, Oregon isn\'t exactly \'south\' of Lake Chesuncook .... :-)
Yes, I\'ve lived in New England all my life but for one year, and the SAD just gets worse every year. Bah... other places have more daylight in the winter. I just hope I don\'t melt!
Hilarious story! Loved it. You might as well laugh because it\'s too sad to cry over it. Smiles.
Yeah, after you\'re done swearing a blue streak at the weather (you bet we do, especially when the wind chill puts it down around 20-40 below) and have warmed up again..... it is to laugh. ;-)
That\'s a cute joke. Yes. I can see why you\'d want to move south
to have more daylight in the winter. Myself, I think \'sun\' and
\'warmth\' and I don\'t even live in Maine. .