Made the first steps

It was one of the hardest things I have ever done -- I hired an attorney and began the divorce process.  It gave me a little relief initially, but once again, it didn't last.  I guess part of me still wants him to fight for us -- but he never has and never will.  What I want, he won't give me.  It hurts a lot that he doesn't seem to have enough passion to fight for it.  He certainly has the most to lose.  But he is so stubborn that he'd rather lose it all rather than have to take action and admit that he has some responsibility for the break down of this marriage.  It is really hard to let go of the hope.  I am trying so hard, but I just cannot get there. 
 
It hurts so much that at times I cannot function at all. . .
 
I still love him, but our relationship is not healthy.  I have to let it go for him and for me.