Made it Through His Birthday

Today was Stan's birthday and I made it!  I was SO depressed and upset for about a week before, due to a variety of things going on in my life, and I was dreading this day!  The last picture I have of Stan and me together is his birthday last year;I look at that picture every day and it always brings me comfort.  Anyway, my daughter and I had a nice lunch, did a little shopping, and though we did not harp on it being Stan's birthday, the thoughts and memories were there for me all day long.  When I got home I wrote him a "letter" telling him what I did with my day, and wishing him a Happy Birthday in Heaven.  I felt a lot better than I had expected. Now I have just one more "first" to deal with, and that will be Thanksgiving.  I want so much to be one of those "serene" widows who go around talking about their wonderful late husbands, and who smile and seem to be so well adjusted.  I guess that's my goal  at this point.