M/C Thoughts
Thank you all for the hugs, the love and the support during this extremely difficult time. I know in the days ahead, I'm going to lean on my DS sisters a lot to help heal and get through this grief. Tomorrow is my D&C. They will do an ultrasound just before just to make sure my baby really is gone. I need to make sure there is absolutely no mistake. I know nothing will change, but I just need that reassurance. As sick as this sounds, there is a part of me that wants to hold onto this baby just a while longer....even though I know this baby has passed, I am struggling with the idea they are going to take him or her out of me tomorrow. They said they can tell us the sex, but I don't think we want to know. Maybe those of you that have had the undeserving misfortune of having a m/c probably can relate to my feelings and will tell me all of these feelings are normal. After tomorrow, the road to healing will begin and DH and I will need to re-evaluate where go from here, and how to live our lives knowing children may never be a part of it. For now, I just need to get through tomorrow though....
Love to all xoxoxo
Love to all xoxoxo
Replies
I called a few months later to find out the sex. Then I named her Gabriella, my little angel in heaven. It helped to name her, now I talk to her almost everyday. It did take me a while to find out the sex though. My counselor gave me the idea. Thinking about you and I\'m so sorry.
Its not easy letting go of something so precious. I am so sorry you are faced with this. XO
I\'m glad you are having the u/s before, give yourself some peace of mind! I had a D&C my last round and I did not find out the sex either. We decided we did not want to know, personally I felt like it would be harder knowing. Do what is right for you! I know tomorrow will be hard, but this will get easier. Just let your emotions be what they are tomorrow and start the healing the next day. I\'m so sorry! xo
I don\'t blame you one bit for wanting to hold on to that precious being as long as possible. I don\'t know if I\'d want to know the sex or not. Maybe like Hopefully said, in a few months if you want to know, you can call back and ask then. You don\'t have to make any decisions right now. I\'m sure you\'re just numb and going through the motions as it is. Don\'t add any undo stress to yourself right now.
As you know, I\'ve had 3 mcs and had lot\'s of trouble passing two even with a d&c. I always felt a part of it was felling like you that I didn\'t want to let the baby go even when I was trying to move on. I think all that you are feeling is so normal. I never wanted to know the sex and still don\'t but I know a lot of girls that were happy to have a name for there angel. There\'s no problem with them keeping it on file and if you ever want to know, you\'ll always have the option of calling. At this point I still feel like it would be to hard for me. It would make the baby even more real to me and that would just increase my pain.
The D&C in itself is not to painful. I thought my heart had a worst time with the process. I also saw a lot of pregnant woman that that that made it worst.
I\'ll be sending lots of love your way tomorrow.
I completely understand. My miscarriage happened on its own - no D&C needed. Even though I wanted to be done bleeding...I cried when it was over. Because then I knew that every trace of my baby was gone. I hope that you are able to start healing. It seemed like once the physical part was over I was able to start working through my emotions. Some days I\'m mostly ok and only cry a little. Some days, like today, are a struggle to get through. *hugs*
I didn\'t have a D&C but I think I would have wanted to know. I know it would be hard but I het referring to \"it\". Again, I am so sorry or your loss.
Since I went through five m/c\'s it became to a point that I trained my self to move on right away.. Never thought about due dates that could have been or the boy or girl that could have been.. Next !! That was my only way of getting through .. Many prayers and hugs to you . I\'m so sorry
As Roxy said I believe what you are feeling is normal. I didn\'t have a D&C either, and I too wanted to hold one. You have to do what\'s right for you and your healing. Many prayers to you and so sorry you have to go through this.
Hugs. Do little things to make yourself feel ok. Eat an ice cream, wear your favorite pj\'s...whatever you can do to enjoy at least a moment each day. I cried a lot in the hospital for my D&C. I never learned the gender and I think it\'s quite ok not to ever know. You are a strong person, just keep reminding yourself that you\'re strong AND that your instincts are right. Whatever feels right to you at the moment probably is in fact the right thing to do. Hugs.
i am so sorry to see you go through this. my prayers go out to you and your DH....God bless you both through this tough time :(
Thinking of you today.....hugs.
Thinking of you today and sending prayers for you and your husband. Whatever you decide about the gender is totally up to you. xoxo
Think of you today... Big hugs
Thinking of you today..sending prayers and hugs.