Lying
I havent gambled in over a week but one thing I've become since i quit is a liar. I have to keep lying to cover the fact that i lost things to gambling. My mom asked if we still had our 2nd car (that got repossessed.) I told her it broke down. Tonight another lie just rolled off my tongue like its 2nd nature. Nobody knows ive been gambling again for months this time. I dont want them to find out that they cant trust me anymore or that i cant stay on the wagon. I am teying so freaking hard right now to have my life back. But at the same time people are suspecting im still gambling. I know in my heart i am not. Anyway my life will get back to the way it should be i hope. Lisa
Replies
I want to send you hugs from someone who knows how you are feeling. Never give up. You can have your life back from this terrible monster. One day at a time.
Hey Girfriend,
I read this journal entry and wanted to reach out to you! I understand all the poisonous thoughts that are going through your head, and appreciate the frustration that comes from not being able to get them out of there.
Take a moment...a deep breath...and ponder this thought: worrying about whether others can trust you or whether others think you are gambling is a huge waste of very precious energy. You need to redirect this energy to you and your recovery...and getting your good life back in the fast lane again.
Right now the only person you should feel compelled to answer to is you! You know what you are doing...and if it\'s the right thing and you are being honest to yourself , that is all that matters. As l2l mentioned, you can have your life back...never give up.
I read a list of Life\'s Best and Important Lessons as written by a 75 year old woman. One of them was this...\"what other people think of me is none of my damn business\". Don\'t worry about others....stay true to yourself!
Love Tagg
Thank you Lisa and Lynn for your nice words! I will take your advice! Its hard but nothing worth fighting for is ever easy!