lucy...i'm home!!

today was indeed kind of sucky to begin with - but I kept up the tasking at work

(and pumped up) with the idea that I would be happy 'after the fact' that

I accomplished something with my day. My mind definitely twisted

and turned while I work but something within me just wanted to communicate

to me in ways I didn't really understand.

I got work done and then came home. I felt the yearning for having

a satisfying home - life and realized (instead of drilling down into the amorphous

dark miasma) that I already do. Blue is my significant other and he's lovely to come

home to and also I have you guys to come home to, in a sense, too.
I guess I don't need to write 'in a sense' but perhaps my own faulty logic

is that things in my life must look a certain way in order to be valid or fulfilling...and

maybe a little excavating or a little letting loose of that faulting automatic

thinking has me realizing I do have a life and a lot to be grateful for in SO many ways.

Blue is my angel and so are you guys. I guess this time I am leting go

and living light, but certainly not unconscious. I'm not going to regret..

but perhaps have my yearnings inspire action, rather than produce

emotional cement to stew in.