lost in the day, lost in myself

I really appreciate all of your feedback over my last journal.


This journal is just about how I came home from work - and went from


feeling energized and purposeful - to the space in this house which I have


called in the past to myself "The bad kharma corner." It's not really fair to call it


that - but it's a place where everyone has a kind of infermity - and I need to be


caring - which I try to be. I just get lost in the soup here.. I tried to keep


up a sense of goal - but I just get so lost - and today I got lost an angry too.


I just felt sick. I started to eat a lot - and just started to watch an old movie on TMC.


God give me the strength to understand what I can control and be ok with what I can't.


I don't know if I am meant for more directed employment but I think I just need


to keep taking care of what I need to take care of. Deep breaths and just get back to watching the movie.

Replies

iwontbackdown1
iwontbackdown1

Hi. I hope your prayers are answered.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks IWBD!
rubyblue
rubyblue

Sorry things are so tough at home. Does your sense of identity change from work to home? Home sounds triggering. I think accepting our limitations are hard. Everyone has limitations, its how we deal with them that's important I suppose. Idk how often you do this, but a lot of the time we really do need to put ourselves first. Like you say, accepting what is, and taking good self care.

Tc and be kind to yourself Mark. I hope you find some peace xx
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Ruby. I think I do need to focus on the acceptance theme as much as possible.
On my own I have realized I can feel so ungrounded - and moved to reacting to my instability with
greater intensity and focus. When I am at work - I have a focus - and and outlet for all my energy - and so yes. Even though I may have moments at work I can still get along and exorcise that energy and keep happylike that way. So thanks for your response. I was just thinking about acceptance and your message reinforces that!! :) peace!