Losing Smokey was like my heart stopped, I could not breath & no reason to anymore

Losing Smokey was like my heart stopping, I could not breathe anymore and my reason to was gone out of my life completely one hundred percent.  
Smokey was my air to breathe.  
Smokey was my reason to get out of bed in the morning and go to bed at night.
Losing Smokey was like cutting me in half and one half is gone out of my life.
Smokey was my sanity.  He kept on the right track when I veered off in some direction or when I lost my sanity.
Smokey was the love of my life.
Smokey was my best friend, my lover and my partner in crime/having fun together.  
I am surprised at my reaction at the 2nd year of Smokey's death.  The first year anniversary was hard but this one seems harder for some reason.  Go figure!  How did you react on the 2nd year anniversary of your own loss?
Thanks for listening from Diane Baillie