Looking up
Things seem to be looking up for me. I'm beginning to feel better. I guess the meds are working after all. I just can't go to sleep tonight. I found out a classmate from high school killed himself today, and its so very sad, yet it reminds me of that familiar feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness. I've been reading Sylvia Plath's Bell Jar and I've had a morbid curiousity about suicide recently. I'm not thinking of doing it just thinking about it...and now this happened. So sad.
I feel more energy than what I had and so I'm getting more things done. I still don't want to go into town with the chance of running into someone who would ask a dozen questions. There is this one lady who keeps calling me but I just thank her and don't really speakk. I'm not sure if she is worried or just plain nosy. Not sure what to do there. I don't want to be rude, but don't want to say too much either.
People can't tend to their own busy, especially in a small town. I wish I could get out of here sometimes. I'd move in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. I'm such a gypsy. My mom counted one time and told me I've moved 19 times in my life. 19 times in 32 years...of my own accord, of my own doing!
Well, tomorrow is therapist day...i don't feel like going...there's something that is annoying about it, but I have to. I'm so pissed about them and the doctor not promptly sending my short term disability information in, now I won't get a check this week and its their fault. Meanwhile I've been spending money like I don't have a check. Well, I'm debating should I take a few more mg of ativan to try to go to sleep or should I just lay back down and hope. I'm leaning toward the ativan..
I feel more energy than what I had and so I'm getting more things done. I still don't want to go into town with the chance of running into someone who would ask a dozen questions. There is this one lady who keeps calling me but I just thank her and don't really speakk. I'm not sure if she is worried or just plain nosy. Not sure what to do there. I don't want to be rude, but don't want to say too much either.
People can't tend to their own busy, especially in a small town. I wish I could get out of here sometimes. I'd move in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. I'm such a gypsy. My mom counted one time and told me I've moved 19 times in my life. 19 times in 32 years...of my own accord, of my own doing!
Well, tomorrow is therapist day...i don't feel like going...there's something that is annoying about it, but I have to. I'm so pissed about them and the doctor not promptly sending my short term disability information in, now I won't get a check this week and its their fault. Meanwhile I've been spending money like I don't have a check. Well, I'm debating should I take a few more mg of ativan to try to go to sleep or should I just lay back down and hope. I'm leaning toward the ativan..
Replies