Looking into the future

Since I'm getting weened off medication I've been thinking a lot, wondering if the pain will come back.  Well today I've been thinking about that even more to where I have butterflies in my tummy.  The thought of my kids watching me while my nerve is in a full on spasm and all I can do is scream through it.  I can see my kids looking so scared not knowing how they can help me.  It breaks my heart that my kids have to see me like that.  I swear our neighbors probably think my husband beats me with all the screaming when my nerve is in a full spasm.  I thank God that I'm pain free right now.  I don't even get the quick zaps like I used to get!  It's like a miracle!!  Whats going to happen once I'm completely off the medication and medication is totally out of my system?  Is my nerve fixed? Or is pain going to eventually come back?  I'm scared to death that the pain is going to come back and my 14 year old and 15 year old are going to have to watch me screaming through an attack again putting there hands over there ears.  And there's nothing anybody can do to help me but just stand there and watch me scream.  This goes through my mind constantly, everyday!  What if, what if!!