Looking for Advice

Bob and I had a big discussion Tuesday night about when I should be taking a leave from work or reducing my hours.  He's afraid that if I take leave now, I won't be available when he needs care 24/7.  And I told him that I am trying to protect my sanity, as each day passes, I am two more days behind both at work and at home.  He said I do not use my time wisely, and I don't.  I am overwhelmed physically and emotionally. 
So on Wednesday, off to work I go, only to get a call from Bob at noon, saying he had been in excrutiating pain when he got up and called hospice.  Hospice sent EMTs to help him move to a chair and assess him until a hospice nurse arrived.  He called me after the hospice nurse was there to let me know that he was being transported to inpatient hospice for observation for a couple of days.  And he said, don't come right away, come later when you are done with work.  And since I was working out of town, I went to the hospice facility as soon as I was done. 
Here's my question.  At what point do I disregard his direction regarding work?  At what level of pain meds is rational thought gone?  Why is he pushing me away?  Is this something others have gone through? 
I am so used to heeding his advice and submitting to his opinion. 
Will be waiting today to hear from the doctor as far as the next step.
Advice?