long ramble, please add my name to your prayers......xoxoxoxo

Hi,
I'm sleepy........tired of saying that so I thought maybe I need to learn other ways to say it:
Looked it up in ASL.....American Sign Language.  You place your hand with your fingers spread apart on your forehead.  As you bring your hand down towards your chin you close your fingers together, so that your gently folded hand is now a quiet fist resting at the base of the face just beneath your chin........if you have regular computer capabilities you can you tube anything.  I can't do links or access anything on my limping computer, but it can still do a good bit so it'll be alright.
Spanish       Sonoliente
Korean        Jollineun
Japanese     Neumui
Hawaiian     Moe Moe
Thai            Ng Wng Nxn
French        Somnolent
So far I like the ASL the best.  It requires no talking, no rushed or confused thinking.  And I figure as long as my hand is passing my eyelids my fingers can gently close them on the way to my chin.  Perfect for napping yes??????
I had some goof ups getting to the dentist yesterday......made it to & through the appt and nobody got killed. Managed to get supplies also.  I'm moving better with less pain now that I'm back at full strength 400 mg of Celebrex.  It's pretty amazing actually.  I can simply get up and sit down and walk or bring up my legs.  Lots of things are happening with minimal pain, fuss and muss.  I'm not all twisted or bent over like before.  It is a medical miracle and worth celebrating.  It does not eliminate or alleviate exhaustion however.  I slept from 11 pm until 1 pm and feel like sludge.  My daughter called and she thought I was asleep.  I had been up for over an hour at that point.  I feel disembodied when I need to use my voice and react in normal time to conversation.  I a m s l u g g i s h .  It is obvious if you hear my voice. 
We did have a lovely chat though.  Updated now on the EP CD Music Project process, she says they have the drums and bass done.......they are trying to work it out in layers due to Sara's crazy schedule and some of the musicians' hectic schedules also.  But she sounds pleased......happy, in a good place about this music project.  Great! 
She is trying to do her best about the people she meets at the country club where she works, treat each person like an individual...........she says this with a small sigh.......some of the moneyed that flock there do not see a server any more than they see a tray or a plate .........they just don't see or feel the need to see, speak to or say thank you for services they receive.  BUT there are many who are not of that ilk, who are kind.  Sara has also been very blessed with her schedule.  she is able to work week-days leaving her free to meet her crazy over committed self to manage pretty well.  She is frequently rehearsing for Sunday worship --- has four services that run from early early to the final service that begins at 1:30 every Sunday. and rehearsals for special Christmas events are beginning too.  There will be special performances on the 23rd, 24th and on Christmas Day also. 
She runs from small group (Bible Study) to prayer group to other church commitments and in the meanwhile she got it all together to launch her Mother-in-Laws lunch cafe at the antiques mall.  The grand opening was last Saturday.  From what I gather it was well received, well attended.  Sara said MIL is very very happy with Sara's decorating and design projects. Sara personally made all the tables by hand.  Now she understands that this was slightly ......ok a lot on the overly ambitious side..........and she never wants to do that again EVER.  But she says that there has been a lot of positive and complimentary feedback that give her a sense of satisfaction.  She hopes that I will be able to visit the cafe soon.  She tells me that the antique mall is in an old grocery store at the back, so it's not going to be as hard as trying to walk to the back of a huge box store, so I will have to do that soon.
I'm trying hard --- I have prayed not to ache or hurt over finding out about the opening after the fact.  Sometimes it is hard.  I may not have been able to attend but she didn't even let me know.    I asked her several times to let me help her last month......especially when she told me she had bronchitis.  But she never asks.......when I feel blue I perceive myself as useless.  She can get it done better, faster, more efficiently if she doesn't have to take the time to talk to me or fit me in......cause I am always sick, always tired.....always out of it.  Actions tell a lot of the story.  I love Sara..........love, love,love her.  I wish she would talk more often.  I reached out to her, left two voicemails, one e-mail --- both ignored. 
She didn't mention them.  I am trying to leave things be and just be a soft place to land.  I am not at peace about this. I long for her to turn to me/share things with me. 
I hope that I can share this here without being seen as a disloyal complaining momma.  I continue to remain in prayer about this..........to let God help and handle this his way and in his time. 
She does want to eat turkey, but things are still to up in the air to make plans.  I don't care about celebrating on the actual day any longer.  I know they have their Dad's to go to and now her husbands family.  It doesn't have to be on THE DAY.  I told her I didn't care if we just had pizza and she said NOOOOOOO Mom, a turkey feast.....your mashed potatoes.... all the good stuff........have to laugh and let my heart be glad that she and Sam still have home made favorites.  I just don't want to stress, worry about cleaning or anything.  I would rather watch movies and eat a slice of pizza with a yummy salad, but if the kids want to come together and cook that is fine too.  Either way, hope is not gone lol............it's just that she said she is looking forward to eating with Sam & I.  She didn't mention Derian......she rarely does.  I always ask about him, send my love.   I have not seen Derian since last Christmas.  Pray for me about these relationships.......they seem to find it easier to live life without including me most of the time.  I encourage her/them to drop by........I promise I do.
I still can't believe that I got lost going to the dentist.......completely avoided driving into a ditch which is really good news.....but I did have to brake suddenly and very hard, not a great moment.   Definitely arrived late and doubly stressed about arriving late.  Sigh..........I don't live that far but my autopilot was wonkadocious, I didn't realize I was that brain fogged.    I was heading the right general direction but landed on unfamiliar twisty country roads lost as can be. 
That's more than enough, more than anyone wants to know.  Even me.  Later ya'll.  I am going to make something quick and easy, climb under the covers and try again tomorrow.  My throat hurts and I want some TLC.  Soft warm blankies...... no thinking required.......Nitie nite.