Long Day Today
So today I woke up at 6am to go to the doctor. I was stressed out, first because I was fasting and hungry and couldn't eat until my blood work was done, and second because I got there late. I checked the bus schedules last night and I chose the one that would get me there on time with time to spare. Well, there was traffic, and my first bus missed my connecting bus and so I had to wait a half hour for the next one. I was only a bit late, so they still saw me, but it stressed me out sitting in traffic knowing I was going to miss my bus and not being able to do anything about it. I don't think it would have been any better if I was in a car, since I wouldn't have been able to control the traffic. Then again, if I had a car, I would have just taken the highway straight there (the highway runs from a block away from me straight to my doctor's office) and skipped the streets. I think part of it was that school was going in, and they had the speed limit reduced in a lot of areas for kids to cross the street. I should just be glad that I made my appointment and everything went well. I got a refill on my birth control, which I needed, and I should be able to get it by the end of the month when I get my bills in to Medicaid.
I talked to the guy from the Medicaid office today, and he was telling me what I needed to do to get my share of cost. I need to fax the information to this number, and then they will activate it. I forgot to ask about how it works paying me back for money I've spent, but I'm going to send in all my bills and see what they pay. I also know now what card I have to use (I have a straight Medicaid card and an HMO card) and so I use my gold Medicaid card.
There's this bug on the window. It came in and I already killed it, but it has me all paranoid. I don't know what kind of bug it is, just that it's some sort of beetle. If it was a roach my paranoia would be all the way up, but I'm better with beetles than I am with with roaches. Even though this beetle was really big, too, the size of a roach. I keep looking at it to see if it's moving. My paranoia has been okay lately... just the usual bouts of people watching me and stuff. I keep my webcam taped up so people can't see me, but that doesn't stop the paranoia of being watched. I want to tape over my mic as well just because it's a hole in the top of my laptop that faces me. I know it's silly, but I just have this overwhelming paranoia that I'm being watched all the time. It's just one of the many paranoias that I have.
Mood was okay today... I worked with the fun guy at work, but it was just hard for me to get into the fun spirit. I guess it's because I was so tired. I came home from the doctor's and took a nap for about an hour and a half, and then after work I came home and took another nap. I wish I would have gone to the doctor's on Monday, since then I wouldn't have had to be at work until 2pm, but today I just came in late at 1pm. I was way too tired to make it in at noon. I told my supervisor and she seemed okay with it. I'm still thinking of trying for next Friday to do a whole day just to see how I do. I think with some good coffee I should be better... I had some tea today, but that was it for caffeine. I did drink a lot of tea, but there's something about coffee that makes me feel more awake than tea (even if I drink the same amount of caffeine from both sources). I think it's mental. Either way, I know I can do a full day, I just have to be prepared for it. A day when I'm already stressed out and tired is not a good day to try. I just hope I don't keep coming up with excuses for it. I have my goal set out- Work a full day next Friday. I just hope my mood keeps up and doesn't tank.
Food was good today, kinda. I got my calories in and was in range for everything (for the first time in forever) except for sodium, which is normal. I had some Oreos today and some Chinese food, but I had stir fry with broccoli and shrimp, so it was pretty healthy for Chinese food. No MSG or anything. At least I got some veggies in today. I have half of it left over for lunch tomorrow. Sleep was okay last night... I had to take a bunch of klonopin to get to sleep, but once I was asleep I stayed there for the most part. I got about 8 hours of sleep, which is why I was so tired today. Stress and mood I already talked about, so that's it for tonight!
I talked to the guy from the Medicaid office today, and he was telling me what I needed to do to get my share of cost. I need to fax the information to this number, and then they will activate it. I forgot to ask about how it works paying me back for money I've spent, but I'm going to send in all my bills and see what they pay. I also know now what card I have to use (I have a straight Medicaid card and an HMO card) and so I use my gold Medicaid card.
There's this bug on the window. It came in and I already killed it, but it has me all paranoid. I don't know what kind of bug it is, just that it's some sort of beetle. If it was a roach my paranoia would be all the way up, but I'm better with beetles than I am with with roaches. Even though this beetle was really big, too, the size of a roach. I keep looking at it to see if it's moving. My paranoia has been okay lately... just the usual bouts of people watching me and stuff. I keep my webcam taped up so people can't see me, but that doesn't stop the paranoia of being watched. I want to tape over my mic as well just because it's a hole in the top of my laptop that faces me. I know it's silly, but I just have this overwhelming paranoia that I'm being watched all the time. It's just one of the many paranoias that I have.
Mood was okay today... I worked with the fun guy at work, but it was just hard for me to get into the fun spirit. I guess it's because I was so tired. I came home from the doctor's and took a nap for about an hour and a half, and then after work I came home and took another nap. I wish I would have gone to the doctor's on Monday, since then I wouldn't have had to be at work until 2pm, but today I just came in late at 1pm. I was way too tired to make it in at noon. I told my supervisor and she seemed okay with it. I'm still thinking of trying for next Friday to do a whole day just to see how I do. I think with some good coffee I should be better... I had some tea today, but that was it for caffeine. I did drink a lot of tea, but there's something about coffee that makes me feel more awake than tea (even if I drink the same amount of caffeine from both sources). I think it's mental. Either way, I know I can do a full day, I just have to be prepared for it. A day when I'm already stressed out and tired is not a good day to try. I just hope I don't keep coming up with excuses for it. I have my goal set out- Work a full day next Friday. I just hope my mood keeps up and doesn't tank.
Food was good today, kinda. I got my calories in and was in range for everything (for the first time in forever) except for sodium, which is normal. I had some Oreos today and some Chinese food, but I had stir fry with broccoli and shrimp, so it was pretty healthy for Chinese food. No MSG or anything. At least I got some veggies in today. I have half of it left over for lunch tomorrow. Sleep was okay last night... I had to take a bunch of klonopin to get to sleep, but once I was asleep I stayed there for the most part. I got about 8 hours of sleep, which is why I was so tired today. Stress and mood I already talked about, so that's it for tonight!
Replies
i can so relate to the stressing over being late, i hardly ever am but sitting in traffic like that or a bad snowstorm, i get up real early for that, drives me nutty. it is my own problem, as they would be understanding at work, as i have only been a tad late like twice, but i worry about it. doesnt it just stink to get so worked up over things you have no control in? do you have skype with your computer or is it a video? i dont have either, i would like skype as i would be able to see others who have one too. you did very well with your long day, i know how hard it is and i dont think you are used to waking up and going that early. i relate to tat too as i get up at 5 for work and im exhausted when i get home and take a nap. i like a lot of sleep too. how many hours do you work now? full time is hard, such long days. hope you get some good slepp and get caught up. hugss
Work is so much easier when you can wour with someone you like , like the fun guy, I am glad you got to work with him. Traffic can make things hard when you need to make connections on bus routes and that can raise stress levels, you need to leave earlier to allow for that so that you don\'t feel stressed out by a missed connection, You were tired and got a nap and that was good, I get tired and lay down in the afternoon too, I rarely nap, but I lay down and rest non the less, it helps me feel better to make the rest of the day. You me your foods goals for the day and that is good, so all around you had a pretty good day.
Isn\'t it awful when you leave time and you can\'t make it when you planned.
I hope you get all the bills in and get some money back.
It\'s a bit stressful to take buses because you are not in control of the time(schedule they are on)
Have a great week