Lonely and alone

I have let me anxiety and CPTSD get so out of control that I have avoided everything for so long that I no longer feel like I have a place in this world.   I just go through the motions on things that I need to get through and everything else I just avoid.   I'm sad and lonely and just don't feel like I belong anywhere.   I don't really have friends,  especially anyone in my life that would even consider stopping what they are doing to be there for me even a moment.   Maybe that's my problem,  I do too much for everyone else and they just take advantage. I just got hired at a new job permanently and seems everyone is excited for me but I just live in this constant fear of what am I going to do wrong now and wonder how long I'll really be here.   I brought a coffee cup to work and it's not even one I like.   That is the extent of things I have in my cubicle.   I don't feel like I belong here,  I pretty much just do my job and be as invisible as possible.   People here seem nice but I just feel so weird.   I don't like to much of anything anymore except work,  go to the gym and sleep.   Eating is very random too.   If it's between eating and sleeping,  I'll choose sleep everytime.  I just feel like I'm kinda lost right now.  There are things I want to but I don't really have any friends to do anything with and I'm not very comfortable always going out alone.   My daughter is getting ready to go off to college and I fear I'll just be even more alone.