Living with BPD
people don’t really understand what it’s like for a person with borderline. Trying to buy into DBT and the different thought processes is so difficult especially with the negative thoughts. People think it’s attention seeking behavior they don’t understand the very real thoughts of suicide the very need to self injure. Nobody truly cares
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I had to reply, I don't care if you think my opinion is shit, here it is... (was that BPD thinking?) ......Please try to remember people want to love you, care for you, I bet many people you no longer speak to still do love and care for you, even after you got out of the storm you caused, leaving them hurt, sad, feeling emotions they are not used to feeling, nor do they want to feel, or have to feel or understand! They also are suffering, not without compassion for you, really; It's in plain sight that BPD people are in pain and yet we press on blissfully ignoring those we hurt, BPD leave people behind feeling used, and insignificant we hate that, everyone does! (We have no real Excuse) our problem is not one we share with others who don't suffer from BPD, and learning not to impose, demand more than they can give to us, is paramount, to find your way, just acceptance. Not being left with hate, and pain only to remember again how much we loved them once, beat yourself up over and over, but still thinking it's their fault, They are out there, right now, even though we are over it, on to the next day, consumed by negativity, blame, guilt, too much love, too much hate, not wanting to feel anything even for just a moment, It's our misguided perceptions of what the heck happened, do we even know? or do we have a warped perception and don't know the truth, just so mad we are convinced they did us wrong, and don't care about us, abandoned us, thinking somehow we are better off without them, don't need them, are above them, even if they invested years into a relationship with us. BOOM, we threw away those people...for NOTHING, then we've moved on to our next bad day, every day.
When someone with BPD can't look in the mirror and see that" they WE cause" these non understanding people to freak out, get away, not want to see us out of control, on a regular basis, they get overwhelmed, tired! not like us... they usually don't feel the hate and anger, just the need to escape, unable to cope with the tornado a BPD can, and will cause with and without intent period! we are used to the feelings, because we all experience emotions strong, heightened, out of control, beyond a little different, have compassion for people who don't have the emotional blasts but are hit by the fallout, having done nothing wrong themselves, It's as crushing for them, as those real low times when a person with BPD feels a need to self injure, or thinks about suicide. Knowing that how would you handle someone in your there shoes? All you can do is handle yourself and regain control,fast.. don't let no dust settle on your ass when you fall.. say sorry, explain your disability, talk it out, let it go, and self explore why we feel the way we do, act the way we do, hurt the way we do, and hurt others the way we do. Insisting on compassion, support, unconditional love, admiration, respect from others, we will pack up our toys and find someone new to play with. It's difficult, with some therapy, and people who offer a hand, that we usually bite......who are willing to try to not abandon us, that's when we can soar. We must drag ourselves up, get off the bathroom floor, put away the blade, quit cutting ourselves, and others, learn to calm down, recognise the chaos we are. We have a lot to offer when we have a good day or two, it's worth it to seek more of them. We really don't want to die, but don't want to hurt. Unfortunately; it's us; that go from thoughts to action without good reason, way too fast and go from thinking of suicide to committing suicide! more than any other mental health disabilities... Then we again leave people to suffer as we escape, we are selfish that way, thinking we will teach the one who hurt us a lesson, get even," nope" it won't work, they will move on, live, recover, get over it, find joy again, love, live, why don't we just do that too? If you need a friend I'm here . The medical community hates us, but we can seek out someone who may try to help us make our way. Don't go past that fleeting thought, get help, and good luck!
make up with some people who you think did you wrong, and see things from their point of view, you can learn to regulate, you may never be right, but don't always let yourself be wrong.