Living on the Edge

I am fed up in myself mood is low all the time. Thoughts of wanting to gang myself keep entering my head.  The mornings are the worst I wake up trembling and teeth grinding.  I’m so sick of it.  The funny thing is when I’m working I am much better person almost normal if there is such a word.  I’ve tried mindfulness, homeopathy and a lot of medications that haven’t done anything for me.  My medication has been cut down a few months ago as I suffered with heart palpitations.  I tired of pretending everything is ok.  My confidence is low my boss keeps picking me up on small mistakes which makes me more nervous and then I make more mistakes.  I hate myself sometimes.  I am trying to keep going for my family.  I fear I will loose my job I think that will be the end of me. I don’t know how much more I can take of this.