Living defensively

I think because of my challenges and variability of self  I live, much like I drive, defensively. Today was a really variable day within me, my mood and sense of self swung all over the place. Here I was trying to make sense of life because of all that and why I feel like an alien in the world , under water , feeling alone and stressed about life. What should I do? how should I live?

I try and be clinical with myself aka 'what works'. So here I was trying to get to sleep. Feeling void inside and dealing with the shock and trauma of having moved to a completely brand new place. Not sensing an aptitude for things in this place. I need time to adjust. Shift gears. Explore too. I'm really glad I went to the library and pub. The library was and amazing space. The books area was straight forward but below the books floor was a really contemporary creative studio space.

inspiring! It'll take time and happen.

keep on keeping on! Love and hugs!