Liturgy
Big xxoo! The liturgy I led this morning was a three ring circus. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Again I’ve stopped apologizing for it though. People have input for me all over the place as I’m doing it and I’ve realized I just need to be calm in myself and get it done. My intellect sometimes shows up for the service and sometimes not. Sometimes indeed it’s hard to stay calm or effective for that very reason! It got done though and I’m kind of just realizing we’re all doing that in different kinds of ways. Some assholes here have scolded me in the past but I have found a true friend in a Swiss priest who comes here once a year who has told me it really takes 2-3 years to get it down.So I’ll just start preparing more before serving though it’s not my favorite part of being here for the hole it puts me in. Who knows., maybe someday I’ll like it or at least do it better :-) I really want it to be good for everyone attending. They come for the spiritual needs so it’s a very big thing. I have to say though after a service ends the parishioners seem to not notice as they gather around asking me questions and asking for confession. It’s really humbling and also wisdom giving that we’re all just making it happen in life. Does that make sense?
It’s more important to just keep it going. And that generality has me excited about taking care of the small community that I have here, my cat, godson, the brothers and sisters who come to me for support, chores and the new adventures and responsibilities of hearing confessions.
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In a way, it reminds me of the first time I was asked to chair an AA meeting. Lot's of people raised their hands to share and ask questions. I was all tongue tied and nervous and my voice was shaking. I made mistakes. Some ;laughed and some were angry with me. I felt terrible. I apologized to the guy who was the head of this particular meeting, for doing such a terrible job but to my surprise, he told me he thought I did a great job! So, I guess, in retrospect......It's all in how you look at it.
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Thanks Bob!!! (((((((Hug)))))))!
I think it can take quite some time to feel comfortable with public speaking
I doubt that your parishoner's notice the mistakes sweetie
I think you're accomplishing so much and there's so much to learn one day at a time
The fact that people are turning to you for support speaks volumns my friend
I'm glad that there's a Priest that you feel close to and can turn to
Big squishy hug...xo
Oh Dear Mark, you are So Hard on yourself :(
Just think about a year ago and where you were...how much you have accomplished and especially ALL The New Responsibilities You Have "Earned" Through Your Good Works and Desire To Learn <3
The mistakes are often a lesson learned - and no one else notices them. They are busy listening to what they connect to from your work!
Take a moment to view it from a different angle to help sort through everything.
Good to know a priest has insight to help you know how much of task it is to find everything the way you want it to be all the way through from beginning to end.
You're doing wonderful!
Thank you so much Jan, Mary Louise and Mid!! (((Hug))))
What you describe in your journey is a good lesson in life - becoming perfect and polished and adhering to expectations is often something the rest of the parishioners will notice no mistakes when the focus is on something higher and greater.
Way to keep pushing through all the mistaken minor things and think beyond!
Hugs, Markus.
Thanks Nikki!
Sounds like you had a great day Mark. All the best.
Thanks Rich!!