Little Vicki
Hi All!
This past weekend, I went to vist long-time friends. They have their granddaughter, Adie Bell (age 4) quite often and I wanted to see her also. To make a long story short, Adie wanted to spend the night; PaPa andMeMaw told her that was fine, but she could not sleep with them as MeMaw had double knee surgery 2mos. ago and she would have to sleep with "Aunt Vicki." She was fine was that for a short while then she wanted to go home with her parents. She flip-flopped back and forth several times. Final decision...I am staying and will sleep with Auntie. Ok.
To bed we go and the crying begins. I don't want to sleep with Aunt Vicki, I want you MeMaw, I am scared, I love you MeMaw and I need you, I need you MeMaw, etc. PaPa enters the bedroom and raises his voice and says "Adie, you cannot sleep with MeMaw, now go to sleep." The crying only gets worse and MeMaw has to come in the bedroom for something...well, Adie really cries out then...MeMaw says "Adie you can't sleep with MeMaw because of her knees, etc. Explains how much she loves her and says "I thought you wanted to sleep with Aunt Vicki." MeMaw goes to the other bedroom. Crying continues and yellings for MeMaw get louder and louder. Both grandparent's come to her rescue and guess what, to the other bedroom she goes.
Here's the clincher...it PISSED ME OFF. I knew I had work to do. It has been three days since the incident and I have sat in the silence awaiting my 4yr. old to come to me. This a.m. she peeked around the corner and I reached out my arms for her and she came. I held her, I cried with her, I told her I am so sorry for what she went thru, but I am here to support and nurture her. She cried and I cried. She finally "trusted" me!
My inner child, Little Vicki, wanted someone to love her like PaPa and MeMaw loved Adie. Wrong or right what they did...my little Vicki was SOOOO JEALOUS /ENVIOUS of someone being loved so much. A huge healing took place this a.m. and I am estatic. The first beating I remember was around this age and I think I had it so far hidden because of the pain, I was afraid to face it; didn't know how. What courage and strength!
Thank-you Universe/Sweet Spirit/Gid for placing me at my friends house while Adie Bell was there so I could heal my little wounded girl. A HUGE PIECE OF THE PUZZLE WAS JUST PLACED!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
This past weekend, I went to vist long-time friends. They have their granddaughter, Adie Bell (age 4) quite often and I wanted to see her also. To make a long story short, Adie wanted to spend the night; PaPa andMeMaw told her that was fine, but she could not sleep with them as MeMaw had double knee surgery 2mos. ago and she would have to sleep with "Aunt Vicki." She was fine was that for a short while then she wanted to go home with her parents. She flip-flopped back and forth several times. Final decision...I am staying and will sleep with Auntie. Ok.
To bed we go and the crying begins. I don't want to sleep with Aunt Vicki, I want you MeMaw, I am scared, I love you MeMaw and I need you, I need you MeMaw, etc. PaPa enters the bedroom and raises his voice and says "Adie, you cannot sleep with MeMaw, now go to sleep." The crying only gets worse and MeMaw has to come in the bedroom for something...well, Adie really cries out then...MeMaw says "Adie you can't sleep with MeMaw because of her knees, etc. Explains how much she loves her and says "I thought you wanted to sleep with Aunt Vicki." MeMaw goes to the other bedroom. Crying continues and yellings for MeMaw get louder and louder. Both grandparent's come to her rescue and guess what, to the other bedroom she goes.
Here's the clincher...it PISSED ME OFF. I knew I had work to do. It has been three days since the incident and I have sat in the silence awaiting my 4yr. old to come to me. This a.m. she peeked around the corner and I reached out my arms for her and she came. I held her, I cried with her, I told her I am so sorry for what she went thru, but I am here to support and nurture her. She cried and I cried. She finally "trusted" me!
My inner child, Little Vicki, wanted someone to love her like PaPa and MeMaw loved Adie. Wrong or right what they did...my little Vicki was SOOOO JEALOUS /ENVIOUS of someone being loved so much. A huge healing took place this a.m. and I am estatic. The first beating I remember was around this age and I think I had it so far hidden because of the pain, I was afraid to face it; didn't know how. What courage and strength!
Thank-you Universe/Sweet Spirit/Gid for placing me at my friends house while Adie Bell was there so I could heal my little wounded girl. A HUGE PIECE OF THE PUZZLE WAS JUST PLACED!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
Replies
Wow, such big emotions in here. Vicki, it made me very emotional. I\'m so inspired by your open heart, to learn and accept. I\'m so glad little Vicki has you!! Lol! Sending you lots of love xxxx
OUTSTANDING! Great awareness. The open heart for healing old pains really works, Thanks for sharing your progress, thoughts, and feelings. EXCELLENT! I feel better already! All those old hidden pains are lessons, aren\'t they? That we didn\'t learn then, about ourselves and our feelings; and how to soothe ourselves.
Hugszzzz,
Rich
Hi Vicki,
Wow. I can so relate here. Reading your journal had me tearing up. I am so glad for you. There really are reasons for these deep-rooted feelings. So glad you could help heal little Vicki and big Vicki, too.
Hugs,
Shar
I have pretty much dedicated myself to my healing for 33yr. now and there have been major, major shifts for me that have given me much happiness and awareness; but this one, was the most grandiose! I cry just writing this. If you could have seen that little face peeking around the corner, then running to my open arms. WOW!
Yes Shar, I think those feelings are such a gift if were willing to look within and see whats going on.
There is definitely something in the Universe that is MORE knowing than myself if we are willing to see things differently!
Thanks everyone! Hugszzz, Vicki
I am at a loss for words. All I could do is take a deep breath. And feel a little part of your pain with you.
Not just a little part of the pain. I could feel the relief too.
a beautiful entry -- and journey into yourself and comforting your inner child\'s woundedness. Moving through the pain and finding a healing on the other side of it. I\'m glad you have this tool for you to access as the emotions arise.
((Hugs))
Vicki,
Amazing experience that shows, to me, how we are all connected if we open our eyes and hearts.
Adie was there for you playing a pivotal role in healing young Vickie. Adie opened the door and you made a loving decision to walked through.
Your experience is clear. They aren\'t always. But I think it highlights the fact that there is value to be gained even in the worst of circumstances...if we are prepared to look for it.
Thank you so much for having prepared yourself to receive this gift and for sharing it.
xx
Thank-you!
Yes, I think we must be willing.
I want to feel peace in my heart; therefore, I am willing to walk thru whatever I have to walk thru to feel it!
Hugszzz, Vicki