little story

Today I was frustrated with my teenage son. I've been too easy on him lately I think. He's become a little lazy and when I got home from a quick errand, literally less than 30 minutes, there were 3 snacks gone already. Mind you he's grown 6 inches since Christmas but when he's hungry like that I make him something solid. Groceries are hard to come by sometimes and  I have to make things stretch, so I was annoyed at his next 3 desserts gone. Oh well. So I call to him, and tell him it's time to do the yard work. "Now?" yes , now. He does the raking, then says he'll go trim the roses like I asked him to. I said to cut the buds and I"ll put them in water and let them open in the house. He comes back up and I'm starting in about the snacks, like, have a sandwich, fill up on something filling, you know the usual mom kind of lecture :)  and I look and he had plopped onto the kitchen table the 2 little rose buds. Just the buds. Mind you it's been over 100 degrees for weeks here so now we finally have a little growth, I was looking forward to some roses. 
I just didn't want to shame him. That's probably why I'm sometimes easy on him, to err on that side then to make him feel bad. But...but but...my roses! Then I pulled my mood around and just smiled and started laughing, assured him I wasn't really laughing - at - him, ok a little but son we'll talk about this when you're 40 and have a good laugh about it, really we will.
You know he did what I told him...it was innocent, like a lot of careless things children do. For that I would have caught silence from my father, and made to feel very small. I have broken the chain. No more shame, only teaching and discipline, but not shame. I hugged him, really it's fine fine...when he offered to go to the store to buy me flowers.  Wow it felt good to let him off the hook.
I am so blessed.