Listening
Listening hasnae ever been my strong suit. The argument in favor of calling my hearing issues, "Psychosomatic" mostly works for me. Not entirely, but mostly. At the very least, I am famous for my selective hearing. I can screen out noises easily as a hearing sensitive can complain about an irritating noise. Alas, I tune them out far more easily than I tune them back in. If I am tuning out an irritating lecture, it may be a while before I can hear the lector's voice again, even when I want to. Physics? Psychosis? Hell if I know. Wherever the problem lays, I havenae found a control for ^it^. Doctors have shrugged at it, too. Sometimes we don't GET to know. We can only accept and cope with ^it^ at face value and let the mystery be. Learning how to listen has been a literal life-long ? ? ? adventure? ? ? for me.
I think I like calling my current phase, "Stasis." Stillnae quite sure why, but it feels comfortable. Why ask why? It feels like the reason for the stasis is a yet another round of learning how to listen for The Quiet Voice. It feels, but my logic isnae in agreement. My cynic holds the opinion that the argument only proves how bored I am.
Think I'll ". . .eat a good breakfast and go back to bed."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J0Q5SMTEM0
Replies
Sounds Like A Great Plan....ah selective hearing, I pretend to Not Hear, therefor No Answer. When John was at home Raging, I'd go to my room and lock the door! Sorry to read your elder son continues to use you to blame...grown up...but still holds you responsible...I look at that as "his issue" and believe you, like me did the best we could with the head on our shoulders at the time.
I too have lots of cringe worthy memories, not even close to yours...still I know my behaviors messed with John's head. Since 2010 I've been doing my best to ask for his forgiveness and change my behaviors. He too recognizes how his behaviors lead to me having to put him into the homeless shelter....Good Lord!!! talk about guilt and shame..
Please do 'rant' anytime you want...God Knows you've got reason!!!
As soon as computers are dropped off, store for bird seed, new litter box for Chachi, and some melatonin, I'm home, dealt with shoveling new snow, putting up garbage barrels, shower and back into pj's!
Call drs in afternoon! or maybe tomorrow....eyes and body and brain are Warped!
I seldom pretend not to hear. When I screen a sound, I really donae hear it. There isnae a pretense to it. Sometimes I feel it as similar to a digital soundboard which can remove tracks and/or frequencies. What to do about those flaky knobs which donae let it resurface at a single, easy slide?
Prayers for you and John. Hope healing happens here.
Interesting. Like no longer hearing the drip from the faucet.
Can you feel the vibration of the sound?
I donae believe I can feel sounds less than rap woofer intensity. I canae even seem to feel earthquakes less than 7.1 Richter.
Yup, faucet drips are among the sounds I can screen out for however long it takes to fix the drippy beast. Registered. Investigated. Filed. Gone.
Proof unavailable, but I just-a-patient believe this is the same mechanism which allowed me to suffer the level of Trauma Induced Amnesia which I did. All except those those flaky knobs. . .
I can filter sounds in my sleep. A roommate's alarm clock will only wake me once or twice. I can sleep through fire alarms, the sounds of my kids coughing and fighting. But the sound of water running (like a burst pipe) will pull me into instant awareness. (Baby cries never did that. Whatever. Kids are still alive.) This past week each time the kids flushed the toilet in the night...well lets just say that it screwed with my sleep BIG time (not worth trying to explain to the kids or to get them to change their behavior for a few days).
I don't "pick" this stuff. And my ability to consciously change it is rather limited.
I wonder if you've extended to daytime hours an ability that most only have for night???
Just guessing here.
Pete Seeger is great! My college advisor loved him. My Dad is a brilliant selective listener too. It's amazing to me!
Your post kind of reminded me of a book my friend "Abbess Aemiliane" recommended to me. I have it now I just get hung up
on reading things sometimes. But here it is, I hope you like it! :) It's called "Our thoughts determine Our Lives"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006O4NFQC/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
hugs