Lisa's Angel Day
It is 2 a.m. Friday December 1. It is four years since a doctor looked at me and said "The time of death will be recorded as 1:12 pm (I think that is the time. I was numb at that time).
I have been busy busy trying to ignore the fact that I am missing Lisa so much. For the month of November, I did resident satisfaction surveys in 3 nursing homes. I worked 4 to 5 hours a day. Yesterday, my neighbour Adriana and I went to a nursing home to make fresh pasta and have spaghetti and meatballs with the Italian residents. It was the nursing home where Adriana's mother died a couple of weeks ago. We truly enjoyed ourselves and the ladies were thrilled. One woman kept touching the noodles. She said that she used to make pasta every week. In the evening Joe and I went to the symphony. It was a great performance by the Calgary Symphony and a guest pianist. I cried through most of it. All i could think of was Lisa's last days. I was tired when we got home but just couldn't sleep so am up watching a Sandra Bullock movie and typing.
Joe is going to be a "living library" at a Delta Hotel brunch today. Living Library is a program sponsored by the public library. A person who has a story to tell is available to chat and answer questions. Joe had done it before and quite enjoyed it. He takes the travel photos he has had made in to books and talks about our impressions of the countries. The nice thing is that he gets a free brunch at 1pm. I am going to join him there so it will essentially be a half price brunch.
In the evening we are going for dinner with our wonderful friends and neighbours.
Lisa: I am so sad. I want so much to hear your voice, to chat about everything and anything, to laugh, to grumble, and be together. You could make me laugh, and had so much common sense. You were such a good mother. It just hurts so much to know that you won't be at Cevyn's grad in June.
I miss you always and love you forever, Mummy
I have been busy busy trying to ignore the fact that I am missing Lisa so much. For the month of November, I did resident satisfaction surveys in 3 nursing homes. I worked 4 to 5 hours a day. Yesterday, my neighbour Adriana and I went to a nursing home to make fresh pasta and have spaghetti and meatballs with the Italian residents. It was the nursing home where Adriana's mother died a couple of weeks ago. We truly enjoyed ourselves and the ladies were thrilled. One woman kept touching the noodles. She said that she used to make pasta every week. In the evening Joe and I went to the symphony. It was a great performance by the Calgary Symphony and a guest pianist. I cried through most of it. All i could think of was Lisa's last days. I was tired when we got home but just couldn't sleep so am up watching a Sandra Bullock movie and typing.
Joe is going to be a "living library" at a Delta Hotel brunch today. Living Library is a program sponsored by the public library. A person who has a story to tell is available to chat and answer questions. Joe had done it before and quite enjoyed it. He takes the travel photos he has had made in to books and talks about our impressions of the countries. The nice thing is that he gets a free brunch at 1pm. I am going to join him there so it will essentially be a half price brunch.
In the evening we are going for dinner with our wonderful friends and neighbours.
Lisa: I am so sad. I want so much to hear your voice, to chat about everything and anything, to laugh, to grumble, and be together. You could make me laugh, and had so much common sense. You were such a good mother. It just hurts so much to know that you won't be at Cevyn's grad in June.
I miss you always and love you forever, Mummy
Replies
I too know those doctors words. The same words were said to me about my daughter, but a different time of death given. It too was on a Sunday, but in October. Unreal, numbing, cold, panic, sick feeling, darkness, distraught, weeping.......LOVE, breaking heart.......... knowing she was with the Lord and feeling it, happy for her to be in Heaven and free of pain and sickness, knowing I will see her again one day........
And the pain of wanting desperately to hear her voice again and feel her hugs, I know this too. The laughter, the talks, the teasing each other and the I love you\'s. My heart aches with yours Marlene.
Helping and doing for others as you have done at the nursing home shows what a giving person you are. And it is just the thing to help a grieving mom\'s heart. In giving to others the giver receives too.
Much LOVE and HUGS to you.
I have lit a candle for your Lisa.
Dee
So sorry and I know how hard the day we actually lost them and it is recorded because that is what the doctors said to us with the time and date we lost our Jeff. It was a really nice thing that you did by going to the nursing home. It is important to stay busy. Much love and peace being sent to you.
Nell
Tightest of hugs, dear Marlene. The memories are treasures but Lisa should be here. I understand and I walk with you. Much love to you and your precious daughter, Linda
I hope you are laughing and crying with friends at this very moment.
Hoping the comfort of your friends will be give you some peace and that Lisa will give you a sign as you remember her. I say her name LISA!!!! Hugs, Kathy
I am certain that Lisa and Adriana\'s mother were with us this evening. We did laugh and cry. I can\'t believe that Leslie was so intuitive. She talked about Lisa - even though she never met her in life. I am even more convinced that Lisa and Yola were with us this evening.
I am blown away with the outpouring of understanding. I am so blessed.
xoxo
I don\'t remember Michael\'s exact death time either. I remember it was after 2 am when I got the call that he was dying. Shock after that. For a long time. Love you.
Peace.
Can\'t think of a thing to say, that hasn\'t been said, lol. Just know that I admire you and the things you do to help others. Lisa has a great mother and we all have a wonderful SOTH....
((((HUGS))))....Julia
{{{HUGS}}}