links to my past

I was in the shower having flashbacks of all the times I self injured, and i realized that all the objects I used had some relation to someone that hurt me. The belt was from my best friend that got my girlfriend to check on me. It belonged to his grandpa, who was the only adult hat cared enogh to keep him on a good path in life. When his grandpa died, he became a diferent person and we stopped being friends. The clothes hanger I bent into a switch was the same one my ex had been jokingly trying to hit me with and ripped a hole in the back of her shirt. I think the clothes hanger holds some meaning also because she told me her mom used to hit her with the same kind of wire clothes hanger when she still lived in thailand. Finally, the thumb tack I carved my leg with came from a bulletin board ij my room with newspaper clippings and ribbons and things from all my high school accomplishments. It's always a reminder of who I was and what I should have become.