lingering

the ever lingering feelings of defeat; anxiety, depression. 

all the times i felt i had a handle on the pain, were all the times it came crashing down on me 

all the people around me that do not understand. that do not see why i'm doing what i'm doing

i know i don't make sense all the time

and thats the problem. 

i am the problem.

no matter the awareness. no matter the knowledge. no matter the self-compassion.

i'm severely fucked

a tragedy

familar words echo from my heart, dancing on my lips as if they are new to me 

but it is the same old story

I AM DAMAGED.