life is so messed up

In a nut shell – the younger boy the day before camp said all I wanted his older brother for was sex.  And he ranted and raved as he always does when he’s off his ADHD meds.  Then I made the comment at church camp about whether or not the boys were allowed in the motel room.  The church is believing that I am having sex with Roy and the reason he is having anxiety issues is me.  That anytime he is around me he is worse.  Now I may have to leave the church, the step father has halted all contact and the family is not talking to me.  My aunt and uncle, everyone.  I am so damn mad.  I did nothing wrong but am apologizing relentlessly trying to calm the waters down.  I was not able to talk to Roy yesterday at church and they rushed him off with the youth pastor for the day so I would have no contact with him.  I knew he was hurting, but was unable to reach him.  I did not sleep at all last night and am trying to deal with this at work.  All I want to do is cry. I am seeing a doc tonight for meds, therapist thursday.