Life at the monastery
I wrote this to the elder:
I’m thinking about the title of your book ‘the enemy within’ . Sometimes when I try to sleep or when I first wake up I experience this. It is unpleasant and it is bewildering. I’ve surmised it’s somehow a force that tries to understand and determine the boundaries around me, ultimately I’d like to embrace joy. Ultimately I aim to embrace it all. To be a solid citizen is how I deal with it. Being here is how I deal with it. I realize through struggles with ourselves we grow. I hope this alright to share. The priesthood has helped me find my peace.
I’m realizing to deal with our lives with God’s peace, it can be hard to impose ourselves on the group with our own individual need. My family zoom call was fun and went well today. It left me selfless to the group which we all each were and it was lovely. But then moving forward with the day, I realized I was still in a place of service to the family and system at large but also somehow questioning of making that service my own to keep things in perspective and clear was a value too. As an artist I can caught up in details and a complete vision, but then I thought about my doctors and any professional and how they are, we all are, vehicles for the service but also somehow making it our own. There’s maybe a stoicism of a job well done being the reward in and of itself. It can be painful but also a sense of commonality.
Sorry this is something I’m trying to make sense of
Thanks. I know I’m a little out there. Maybe the simple answer that we all have to be a little selfish in life
I don’t know what to say. I struggle , we all do, it’s life
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I realize we each have to be selfless to life and our work and try to take satisfaction from it too, especially after work, we’re trying to make our lives happen the way we want.
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I think I've kind of been hiding here from life at the monastery. It's helped me figure out stuff. We all have to make our lives happen. I find myself waiting in between activities for the next thing to happen. It sure is a passive way to make a life work. That's a little harsh. But I know I can do stuff I want too.
Replies
That’s so deep!
thanks sunshine
I am seeing how the life here is as they say in the service 'is a christian life both painless and blameless ' - is acceptability my reasoning
for doing this life? I think my spirituality is also a part of it - and it is growing, my spirituality - and my sense of commitment to here is evolving as well.
I am starting to appreciate people who live with feelings in their lives - and still have the ability to get on in life.
The Elder has asked me to do a sermon next Sunday. It'll be a challenge. But I'll keep you posted.
With so much of the delicacy and danger and retort/comeback here at the monastery for everything we do - I find myself a little warped or perhaps edified too about human
relationships and what people can sometimes 'get something out of life'. (like about in terms of 'this being the way life is' as I have been told)
I need to have both feeling and joy be a part of my life too but also have to work with the realities as well.
Perhaps I am learning - I certainly hope so - how to manifest and motivate to live well.
Feeling your spirituality and commitment growing would be nice feelings and thoughts to have sweetie
It's wonderful that you're recognizing it and I hope valuing the hard work that you've been doing
Big hug...xo
Thanks Janet!