Life and stuff

A lot of the times I need to spell things out for myself in order to accept them.

The obvious things that make sense at the impulse, I feel the need to pick them apart and give

them a logic. I've had to try everything at least once it seems. I guess it's my nature.

Recently this guy joked online about 'what is the meaning of life?" Yet I took the question seriously (surprise, surprise.)

Maybe this is just too stupid but I've got the time, so I'll write about it.

Maybe all this needling down on ideas is kind of an asshole-ish thing to myself? which other wise

I would impose on someone else? :( or maybe would just be 'rid of' this kind of energy by working really

hard at work? By doing art instead might be a wonderful outlet for me and these kinds of detailed

attentions?

For me looking across the whole spectrum of humanity it seems life is about 'keeping life going.'

For some reason folks can get so caught up in lining their own pockets or giving themselves power and position

that they don't take the issue as plainly and egalitarian as it is. Keeping life going would be taking care of everything in nature too.

I struggled this morning in my personal life but then it came to me that living alone and living with the charge of taking care of my feelings and emotions and activities really 'puts me out of touch with being social.' My filter becomes completely off and thick. Like a thick gray wall up against my ability to socialize well when I transition to being with others.

So I started to think about the meaning of that. I was thinking about the idea of life in a sense of partnership might be about doing that too, 'keeping life going.' I guess that's obvious. Partnership helps with the work of keeping each other from going down a rabbit hole, it keeps us sharp and focused on the process of life, in line and in good company

so that we're not alone left to the assault of our own inner forces.....

Having a partner to focus on helps keep life going for each of you... and also both of you.. ideally.

I was going to write more but I've lost track. I'm going to try and keep from going off kilter

for the rest of the day. 

I think for the most part, I just would like to deal with my challenges well. That's really important to me.

I think when I feel I don't, or don't know what to do - I obsess on ideas and notions...

I think an image of dealing with things perfectly or with a sense of style each time is something that comes to mind

and yet we kind of have to just do it 'our own way/the way we can.'

This is with all things considered of course. Taking care of ourselves

and then the problem at hand. When alone or when with others.

Holding fast to our things that keep us grounded and just getting on with or work

... Making room for fun as well! :)