Letting it out

For over a month now, I have not spoken to SS23. Every time I see his car in our driveway, I cringe. A little background...

SS23 is an addict..,plains and simple .  He has put me and his father through 6 years of hell and I'm DONE. Actually ,  I was dine 3 years ago when he went back to rehab and then to a safe house. Dh knew hiw I felt, so kept him and his relationship with his son out of our home and away from me. This year in March, he went back into rehab and dh allowed him back in our home to live as he felt his son showed finally that he was serious about his sobriey, He got a job at Target and started a trade program at our local community college. Yup..,I got sucked back in thinking maybe, just maybe SS23 was actually going to make something of himself and be a man instead of the child who has drained us emotionally and financially the last 6 years. 

A month ago, I came home from work and he was gone. Dh caught him doing drugs and gave his son an ultimatum. SS23 called a cab and left. I was devastated...crying on our kitchen floor. Every hope, every dream I had for him...shattered. I begged dh to let his son come back and get back to attending meetings and get back in school. He did, but SS23 dropped out of school anyway. I was livid. School was his only chance at a better life and now that's gone and I want nothing more than him out of my house, Unfortunately dh believes SS23 needs more time in our home to get more sobriety under his belt. Personally, I think it's just putting off the inevitable. Once he moves out (and dh and I agreed on 6 months as to when he will need to move out), he will go back to using. Dh told him this was his last chance and never to call him for help again after this and I know he means it. Dh just needed his son to get old where he feels he's done all ge can for him. 

So, since then I have not spoken to SS23 and just feel uncomfortable around him and feel no the but anger towards him. He's so dense that he continued to speak to me even tho I would barely respond. Dh is out of town this week and last night I had had enough. I went downstairs and let it all out on SS23 and he just sat there and apologized. I told him it didn't matter and that when he is where SS33 is in life, THEN he can talk to me and I let him know the time frame dh and I had agreed on. He stayed in the basement the rest of the night.

I feel a big sense of relief now knowing he won't try to get back in my good graces again, but will not feel comfortable in my home until he's gone. It's going to be a long gig 6 months.