letting go of the guilt
I had a therapy appointment today. About an hour before the appointment was due to start, I started to feel very anxious. When I'd woken up in the morning, I'd surprisingly started to think I felt ok, but as the minutes clicked closer to the time I needed to get to my appointment, the worse and worse I felt. I really did not think I could leave the house and drive to the appointment, find parking, and sit there for an hour and then drive home again. It seemed too much. I kept my appointment by phone while I was in bed, hiding my face under a pillow, ashamed I couldn't make it out of the house on my own. Some of the things that have been causing my severe anxiety are things which, under normal circumstances, would be stressful, but in my current state, they are paralyzing. So I go wandering through my bookshelf and come across "Reality Therapy" which I haven't looked at in years. The more I read, the angrier I get, The premise is that we choose to be depressed, anxious, etc. That psychopharmacology is bullshit because if it worked, why would we also need to continue psychotherapy. If there's anyone reading this, I don't need to say how thoroughly offended I was by reading this theory. According to this book, if my husband leaves me, I am choosing to be sad about it. Well, as far as I can tell, choosing to be happy about it doesn't really seem appropriate, does it? Anyway, I'm angry and I"m venting because it sucks enough to feel like there's something "wrong with you" without hearing, "Why yes, your depression is something you chose." How does this guy sell so many books? He sounds cold and callous. He should stop "helping" people as soon as he can.