let the rain fall
I went to work this morning. My mind was really twisting about - but kept on with the
work- and that went well and fast. I was pleased.
At one point, this guy (and I know this sounds cuckoo) but this guy asked for
a large french loaf. I told him they were downstairs and I'll go and bring them up.
Ok agreed.
I went across the store and downstairs to get the wrack that the loaves were on
and pushed it back across the store (something I really don't mind doing it's my job
and I like being active.) I arrived at the bakery section upstairs and went to give him
his loaf - and he said he decided he wanted something else. And so I gave that to him.
I don't mind the changing of his mind - but when I gave him the things he wanted he just
said "ok" and walked away - no thank you - no nothing. For some reason that set me ablaze!
super angry! It was like a total dismissal.
Anyways - I am writing about that as it really set me to pieces - and my identity seemed to fall
apart - his lack of humanity infested my mind. Ok sounds cuckoo but I came home
and just felt super weak and like my nerve endings were crackling in my hands - not a lot of strength.
But just going about my routine.
Coming in contact with the guy really felt like a weird alien experience.
Now just waiting for my therapy to start. I thought to come on here to write it out -
I just didn't feel like being alone with these thoughts/feelings.
And so it's all good. Back to the routine. Peace and thanks, Mark
Replies
When some one gives less than expected, it's their problem, not yours. Good for you to write it out!
Peace, calm, and tranquility!
I understand that feeling. Even when you tell yourself it’s not me, it’s their issue - it’s still makes one feel less than human or invisible. So many rude people in the world, though, and you should be glad you are not one of them. You are awesome, Marky!
Thanks guys!
Was he rude when he said, "Okay?" I'm not sure just saying "Okay" as opposed to "thank you" constitutes a lack of humanity. A lack of manners maybe....but he did acknowledge you, just not in the way you wanted him too.
Sometimes we have to make sure our expectations of everyone around us aren't always set on High.
I know pre-pandemic I used to say hello, and please and thank you to everyone, all day, all the time. I'm from the South, its what we do. But when you have a mask on, it just sounds like your mumbling, so now I'm more into "head nods" and "eye smiles" unless I'm close enough for someone to actually hear me. Regardless, I've never expected people to say it back, it's just a nice little "refresher" when they do.
I also will add - this is how my mom is with people at times. I feel like I overcompensate friendliness out and about as a result, esp when I’m with her. She’s the way she is for individual reasons. And it’s never ever about the person on the receiving end.
I had to do that as well Nikki, when I was out with my mom. She was never nice to anyone, unless she was at her waitress job gunning for tips, and then god forbid if you did something to piss her off, the rest of your meal was hell. But she was always rude to people in stores or at my schools or the mall...anywhere. And I always found myself going overboard to apologize for her being such a bitch. 95% of the time nobody had every done anything to her....she was just a really not nice person.
And Nikki I am in no way at all comparing my mom to yours. no way, ever, at all, ever!!!
I can relate Mark. I work in retail and see and hear all kinds of stuff. I just try to shrug it off and get on to the next person I'm there to serve. Sorry you had to experience that rude person.
Thanks Becky