Let me remember him with JOY

He was my cheerful child...easy to love and the one person in the world who could ALWAYS comfort me and make me smile again. He is no longer here, but I am...and I am in desperate need of comfort.

I want to remember him happily, without tears...he would hate seeing me cry!

How do I exorcise the difficult memories that were his end and focus on the joy that was his LIFE?

Most of the people I have loved deeply in this life have passed on. Imagination sometimes leads me to see them, gathered together- smiling and safe: I see my mom, serving up a delicious meal(she was a fabulous cook); my dad is sharing stories of his 40 years spent at sea; my sister and her son are sitting close to my boy...getting reacquainted. My brother is helping my mom serve the food...something he did in this life, to make sure he got first dibs on second helpings. 

These thoughts make me happy, until I slide back into the darkness and then all I want is to join them in that imagined, better place.