learning news things
learning news things
I am not sure where to put this or how to express it
I am not sure if it's good to express it but I will try to.
It's all on my mind.. I hope that these thoughts can
help me and the folks I come into contact here and
while I live at the monastery - I seem to get these wisdom
projects going within me - better to just get it out here.
I think maybe this kind of persistent wisdom project
is my own way of contributing to my life and deal with
my own sense of existentialism when my life feels so incredibly
light and ungrounded.
I am not a discoverer - I am not a righteous man
I am starting to ask what kind of relationships I want
in my free time - and what I then do if I am not getting it from
a person or a situation - also if i am in touch with my feelings I am aware
of how I want to be what I wish were there around me - the surface -
- but it seems like the next thought logically is what kind of situation - a dimensionality -
which speaks to the dynamic of getting it -
- of what I need and want to have and so I need
to be awake to both.. for sure :)
here at the monastery this is a place where folks come for reverent
relationships - and so it's important to keep that in mind for me - it's been
a godsend for my health - along with our work in therapy as well as here together -
I have learned to know how to cope with life here and not
take things the wrong way if in fact I feel contrasting to the monastics with my boisterous or rambunctious
or ungrounded and pleasure seeking self at times- again in the face of the reverential life
- being here has taught me that I am not wrong or completely undeserving and
that all of these energetic qualities just are. We're all human and have
to make a path forward..no matter if we feel ungraceful or a mess and ungrounded...
you still gotta keep on keeping on. :) No judgey
My mind is on the realization of just what this place (the monastery) is for.
Being here truly so has helped me be better in touch with what my feelings are
and what they mean too. Wonderfully too is that in my quiet time I am not sidetracked
or stymied by the meaning of them. Adhering to the meanings which
though gives a sense of knowing is something I can step outside of and not feel judged, I am remaining an active participant and dynamic.
- I recognized that I can get on with the day respecting the boundary of reverence and in any situation out there with the things that I have written about lately - like insecurity
in what we put out there in society or among comrades and a group.
I can remember now how to deal with the abstract of an unstarted project - something I lost
my way about long ago.
and how I might indeed find what I am wanting now instead of butting my head up
against a situation that doesn't give that part of the relationship or situation that I am seeking..
I am getting ready for this trip -
and can deal once again with the abstract of getting it all ready (my stuff) to go.
Replies
what kind of relationships do i want? girl, howdy, it has been a coon's age or 20 since i have asked myself that question. these days i dance with what god sends me. no judgey. if god sent you to me, there must be something for us to learn together.
where ya going this time?
That’s so great Arfie. I am so tired today after meal prep. I’m here in the narthex and am so grateful to see your note. Have a good night. Grateful to god that he’s made our paths cross
trusting that the big boss knows things i don't is a real pressure lifter. ya mean i don't have to know it all?
ya still didn't say where you are going this time.
I’m going to Spain to visit my sister.
Having a God box to drop the heavy questions in helps me a great deal...xo
Thanks Jan!