learning but struggling, so i need to write

Yesterday and today I've noticed how if I get an idea to do something

..in terms of a goal...that goal can get knocked out of my head pretty easily 

by the forces of life - and I realized this - looked at it - and decided to make

a plan - I started to make a plan for next year's vacation - I want to do volunteer

work in Scotland and then visit with my sister and niece in England as well as an old friend there.

I rolled this plan around in my mind initially - and took my own advice that I wrote

about in my last journal. I realized a lot of the times - even if we lose that sense of

enjoyment of the goals we make (even feel divorced from them for the moment) we must learn to resuscitate and

inspire ourselves to keep at the goal - keep faith alive!! So often if I lost a feeling for something I would drop it - and move on and become crestfallen about it..I realize now that we've got to keep at it - our own individual 

choices and goals- even if the forces of life can abruptly knock us - and just before writing this

journal "the crazies"/dark thoughts started happening - but I know when this happens - just gotta

write - get it out and work it out here. Things are good.