Learning

Interesting; I'm just learning to teach myself that each thought or feeling does not need to be analyzed! Every "Why am I thinking this way or feeling this way in this MOMENT" does not to be disected as a threat. I'm learning they are just passing thoughts, with no actual basis. I'm becoming conscious of the fact that they may just be the random firings of neurons testing their circuitry; habits (or addiction) of learned living in a heightened emotional/sensitivity state. I especially do not need to ACT on any one thought. Sometimes it confuses me as intuition; I depend a lot on intuition, and I am learning, by new self observation, which one is which, and which one is coming from my brain 'doing it's thing' randomly searching memory with "Pop-ups", and which one is actual 'thinking'. I'm learning to allow myself to let each thought, and it's attendant feeling, "pop-in" to consciousness, and only then decide if it deserves attention (instead of reacting or repressing it), and if it does need attention, what attention does it require: is it actually a threat, physically (let's say) or is it just a feeling about an imagined threat?

I am learning that "What's WRONG with me?", is not as relevant a question as "IS there something wrong with me?"; the implications are clearly different in intent and method of analysis for purpose. The answer to the secong is often: "No, not really" or "Depends...compared to whom, or what standard?" It's about questioning the phobic thoughts and feelings before they automatically create an adrenaline 'surge', with it's cortisol dumping rise in "anxiety-stimulating/fight or flight" endocrine system alertness and sensitivity. I'm slowly learning to short-circuit that automatic response in self-regulation management.

So...what's new with you?