lately

lately i have been emerging in a sense to not expect 'whatever i like' from myself - but to guide myself

with my nature in mind. I'd like to aspire to great things, but I don't know if I can reach my dreams... whatever that it is, that my sights are set on. I am not being pessimistic but because I have schizoaffective disorder (and all the qualities that go along with that) I would like to some how navigate and negotiate my future as smartly as I can. If I don't, I might bang up against a wall, again and again without having understood why I succeed at somethings and not at others. I hope it's the right thing to do....

So I am trying to figure that out..

Lately, on top of this, I am feeling really tired after work. Like work is just a 'good amount' (just enough) and then after work, I am rather shaky and needing a good rest. I think maybe I should tell my father and sister about this, because they probably should now about what's going on with me.

Anyways, I will rest for now. And I will try to look into things I can set my sights on, I guess the dreamer and the pragmatist have to make some practical art now. :)