Last night of freedom

I was kinda hoping that I wouldn't totally freak out (not that I haven't been all dramatic about it already) about moving once it finally got here.  I do that a lot where the anticipation and the planning are worse than the actual event.  Not so much this time.  Thankfully I had friends come and help me move and clean the apartment or I never would have gotten it done.  At the same time, now I'm totally wigged out tonight.   It's so bad.  I just drove home and back tonight to drop things off at my mom's and she was already on my case.  I love her more than anything but it is so hard to deal wiith the constant demands and criticism.   I don't have a plan or anything but I really wish I could just check out without hurting anyone.  It would be a lot easier.  It feels like everything is a struggle, everything takes a ton of work to accomplish and I don't want to fight anymore.  Unfortunately for me (or I guess fortunately if you choose to look at it that way) I am way too much of a caregiver person to cause that much greif and pain to the people that I love.  Wait, that sounded really pretentious and that's not how I meant it.  I would just be really sad if something happened to someone I cared about so I don't want to do that to someone else.  Nothing like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Feeling totally trapped.