Last night it happened AGAIN !!!!!

For the 2nd time in only about ONE MONTH, I had to BEG HIM to NOT beat me up - to NOT HIT ME with a closed fist / hard ! ...  just because he flew into a raging / psycho fit over NOTHING !!!!

Last night it was about ICE CUBES of all things ! ICE CUBES !!!!

What sort of INSANE person flies into an UN-controllable RAGE over ICE CUBES ?!?!?!?! 

He should be LOCKED UP in a PADDED ROOM !... and under heavy medication ! 

But like I've tried to explain to others, I need him right now to survive financially. The PROBLEM is that he knows this, and I think he takes advantage of this fact ! He behaves as if he thinks it's " okay " for him to act however he feels like it solely because I need him here ! If I could win the lottery, or come into an inheritance, or some other sort of sudden financial win fall, then I would be able to freely tell him to go walk off of a short pier ! 

I did NOTHING wrong last night... and DEFINITELY NOTHING WORTHY of having to BEG for my physical safety ! 

Then since he wasn't able to beat the crap out of me, he decided to get a hammer and take it out on my FAVORITE plastic drinking cups ! He smashed EVERY last cup with that damn hammer ! .... in the process of doing so he put a nice size DENT in the kitchen sink ! So that's ONE MORE THING that he's damaged in this apartment ! The raging fit explosion before last night he caused a BIG DENT in the Wall in the laundry room ! He's since mended that dent with patching caulk, to try to cover up his destruction. But I still know the dent is there, no matter how much he covers it up. Of course I'm glad he tried to " fix it ", but I hate it that he believes that " fixing it " makes it " okay " that he did it ! He seems to think that fixing it erases the FACT that it happened ! Similarly, it's like the times when he has HIT ME so hard that he caused dark bruises on various parts of my body ! Just because the bruises fade, that doesn't erase the FACT that those incidents happened !.... and it DOES NOT absolve him of any guilt ! .... Especially since he NEVER apologizes for ANYTHING.... but of course even IF he did apologize, I'm not sure that I would believe that he was being completely sincere. I doubt that I'd trust his apology at all !