Last Night

I slipped. I couldn't resist the temptation. The urge was strong last night and I was bad.

The guilt kept me awake, I think, cause I slept horribly last night.

Today, now after work, i feel like my brain is clearer. I'm thinking less foggy? I'm an addict and I can't beat myself up every time that I slip up. That won't help me.

I'm physically exhausted after work. That's an everyday thing, though. I'll probably sleep well tonight for that reason alone.

Days like today throw me off. Whenever I finish a book close to bedtime, I don't start another one (usually). Because I know if I get into the book, I won't be able to stop and then I won't sleep. So throughout my workday, I didn't have a book to read during breaks. And I've just kind felt lost without having a book to read.

I know that that feeling isn't something that I should like worry about (I don't know I can put this feeling into words). But I guess the way my life is, I live by a routine. And any variation from that routine just really throws me off. It's like I can't mentally comprehend the variant. But I do try to calm myself down, so that I don't freak out and take the frustration out on others.