Kinda Bummed
I don't like this life alone without my wife. I can feel the loneliness today. Not sure what has changed but im really down today.
Everyone I work with is married. I'm now the only single guy and its depressing. I found myself looking at people in the hallway and checking their ring finger.
Living alone is going to be hard. I need friends but I don't really have any close friends. I chose my family over friends and that is hurting me now.
I don't think I can live like this.
Everyone I work with is married. I'm now the only single guy and its depressing. I found myself looking at people in the hallway and checking their ring finger.
Living alone is going to be hard. I need friends but I don't really have any close friends. I chose my family over friends and that is hurting me now.
I don't think I can live like this.
Replies
It\'s definitely a struggle, seems like everyone is married. I still look at hands to see if married or not, then I wonder \"are they really happy\" or just going through the emotions? Is this their first marriage and how did they make it work?
Everything you\'re feeling is perfectly normal, we all wanted happily ever after but that was taken away by our unhealthy spouses. Your days will be up and down and all over the place for awhile. Just accept it, deal with the emotions as they surface and just tell yourself \"I won\'t always feel like this\" for some reason those words helped me through some of the rough times.
I am sorry you found yourself here but know that you are not alone and come here often to read and get support. It\'s hard, its sad and really sucks but nothing we can do about it but get up, brush ourselves off and look ahead. As time goes by you\'ll start remembering the bad times instead of the good times and once we take them off their pedestals we realize just how toxic they were to us.
Concentrate on your kids, that is your life right now and it really helps to take your mind off the painful parts of your life. Try and not worry about everyone else, just take care of you and your little family right now. Life will work it self out, eventually.
Hugs and hang in there. Take it one day at a time. Breathe in, breathe out...
I was the same way , I put my family first , I was my husbands wife, that was my identity. I had coworkers and such but I always put a wall up , because I kt saying to myself all I need is my husband and child. Now I don\'t have a husband , my stbx is leaving me. Now, when this happened I was shocked to the core. But now I realize and I opened my kindness to coworkers and the few friends I have .i let those walls down. I find joy in being a positive helpful person to those who need a friend at the moment . I believe people when they say they care , of course unless they prove otherwise. It doesn\'t really bother me when I see people married now, I thought my marriage was fine until this all happened. I\'m sure a lot of unhealthy relationships think they are fine too but I don\'t find that I would miss being married. Sure there are happy marriages, but no one knows what happens behind closed doors. It does not make you less of a person because you are not married. I was married for so long I lost my own identity. You just have to find your identity and purpous in life. If it no longer to be a husband right now then you have to soul search . I know it\'s harD , the day before my stbx told me he was going to be gone that he no longer wanted to be married to me , I remeber wearing sunglasses like my husband does and thinking , I am Mrs.Stbx, I was so proud to have my little family . And then it was shattered and I was left with who am I ? I was lost for a while, just floating in what felt like nothing. But now I focus on positive things the best I can. I focus on people the make me happy , things that make me happy , I focus on work , and future goals for my place, I ask myself who do I want to be now and I am trying to find that person. This is a life shattering event , it takes a while to gather all the pieces that flew everywhere. When you slowly put yourself back together , you put them back the way you want them to be. What your feeling is normal , and it\'s ok to be sad about those feelings. But slowly you will find your way. Just think it is just a bad day , it will pass. Hang in there . .just put one piece together at a time . Slowly. Soon you will be closer to be solid again.
I know how you feel. I also let my life start to revolve around wife, child, work, house. And I work from home, with no coworkers within hundreds of miles of where I live. So I spend a LOT of time alone.
I\'ve always been OK spending time by myself. But now it can feel oppressive and sad. Time will help heal it. Also making an effort to get out more, do new things, meet new people. I have done some of that. I am still trying to push myself more to do those things. It\'s hard to push yourself out there when you are feeling like shit, and also if you\'re an introvert as I tend to be.
It will improve though. The raw edge on the pain will lessen, you will start to feel a bit more normal, if you make an effort you will meet or connect with new people, and slowly you rebuild your life. Hang in there, you\'re not alone.