Keeping my mask
i am in class right now with nothing to do. I decided to talk to some friends online that i know in real life. One of them sitting across the room from me. All of my friends know my past and what is deal with now. They are nice about that all more the reason i love them. While chatting my friends happen to keep stumbling over topics that are nice for them. Some being christmas and dads. I am trying so hard right now to not break down. I am having flash backs and am shaking and trying to smaile instead of cry. I am just praying to make it home and to the night time when i go to bed. I am tired of being weak.
Replies
A Shadow, everyone wears masks. Yes, they talk nice topics for them but trust me they have issues too. You are so young. Being a teen is tough (I hated teenage years, They don't know what topics effect you. All you can do is continue going on each day. Tell yourself every morning you are worth it and deserve to be happy. In a while, you'll believe it too.
My daughter uses Henta tattoos so she doesn't cut. She used to cut in the past. She also has a therapist to try and talk issues out. In a lot of ways she was like you - while dad didn't abandon her (We are close), and no siblings, she felt the same way as you. She's 25 now and still has issues but life is improving for her.
This is just a rough year in your life. You'll get though. There is always hope while there is life. Remember you are stronger than you think.
Hugs!
thanks my issue more lies in it has been 5 years that I have been dealing with my depression. Three years with cutting. Some of them know a little about me past and what a deal with. It is hard though because I haven't seen a therapist in 3 months and my parents are very up tight when it comes to me trying to explain myself and express myself. I don't know how to deal with this alone I did forever but then I broke. I haven't fully healed since. I feel like I might break again and this time for good and it is scary because of so many reasons. I do appreciate the alternative to self harming you gave though.