Keeping My Composure and Focus

I'm wondering how can I manage to keep my focus and composure in this relationship. I have to remember who he is.  I get sooooo tired of holding grudges, walking through my life and my house with an attitude.  It's so stupid.  I now wear my engagement ring on my middle finger as a reminder of - this is the same man who will eventually say "Fukc U" "Get out" "I want you out of here" - but then turn around and say "I Love You" "Don't Ever Leave Me" I get tired of fighting and I just want peace in the house so there some sense of home and so Justin won't have to hear him talking to me any kind of way.  Most recently, Justin has begun to say "I'm going beat your ass and then go on to add "that's what daddy says"  He (Justin) explained to his dad that he called Mommie a "Mother fukcer"  I feel so bad.  I've starting walking away when he's wound up because I know what's coming.  I can't speed up this moving process fast enough.  How do I keep focused and do things in a timely manner?  I jfeel as though I just want to wait until he's a work and pack our stuff and leave.  But where would I go?  Justin is in school and I have to work so I understand now that leaving is something that has to planned rationally. Saturday night I went to a party with my girlfriends.  I was very happy to be out with them since Justin was born 5 years ago I rarely get a Saturday night out.  Anyway, when I said I was going out after doing my house chores and coming home to him passed out on the bed and his drunken buddy throwing up in our kitchen trash can.... He curse me out. Told me I was wrong for just springing this on him. (Mind you he works at night 12p - 8a)  So he wasn't even going to be home.  He then decides if I go to the party that I need to come past my mom's house where our son will be spending the night and I have to pick up at 8am to come home and sleep in our house and he nor Justin is home. Well I stayed at the party until 2:30 and decided it would be best to go to my Mom's because saying I overslep is NOT an option, it's closer to stop there, it's late and I'm tired. I call when I get to Mom's and explain that this is where I am - He hangs up on me and I don't see or hear from him anymore until Monday morning. Please, I'm trying to understand this. Am I wrong? I honestly made no sense to me to go home to an empty house to get up 5 hours laters and drive back to where I was anyway. The only good thing about this is I've been through so much with him in this way that I expected that he would not come home as a way of teaching me a lesson.   But this time there were no tears, I slept through the night, got up and went to work this morning.   For the folks who have moved out of an abusive home...any suggestions.  I'm paying as much as I can on bills, made major repairs to my car and managed to save a couple of hundred dollars for moving.