I think I have this idealized version of me in my head for the way I should be, but then do I put that idealized lense on others for how they should be too? It’s not fair either way.
I’m not sure I understand “ Do I put that idealized lense on others for how they should be too?”
There are a lot of different people that make up society and it’s important to remember how to be encouraging and supportive of others, but not controlling maybe? I have learned to steer clear of control albeit the hard way, and it also helps to fundamentally understand my own trauma……….
In any case, you have positive work to continue to do. I’m sorry to hear there are rough waters. I feel that too, perhaps differently. My solution is to work in community, focus on the local work around me, and not become mired by excessive noise far away from me….that is so far from the reality in front of me each day. Our realities are all very different and it’s important to respect what each of us are dealing with and not try to control it.
Assist in improving, yes, when needed. Helping, yes. Advocating for others who can’t cope on their own, yes. But not controlling to fit one’s own needs or narrative, if that makes sense?
Take a deep breath - things will be okay and the storm will pass. Sending a hug.
"No one would have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm."
"A well lived life means weathering a few storms. Our lessons don't come from sunny days on the beach, they come from copping a few waves on the head.”
Peace and good vibes right back atcha! Have a great weekend!
Replies
I think I have this idealized version of me in my head for the way I should be, but then do I put that idealized lense on others for how they should be too? It’s not fair either way.
We’re all on this journey of trying to figure out life
I’m not sure I understand “ Do I put that idealized lense on others for how they should be too?”
There are a lot of different people that make up society and it’s important to remember how to be encouraging and supportive of others, but not controlling maybe? I have learned to steer clear of control albeit the hard way, and it also helps to fundamentally understand my own trauma……….
In any case, you have positive work to continue to do. I’m sorry to hear there are rough waters. I feel that too, perhaps differently. My solution is to work in community, focus on the local work around me, and not become mired by excessive noise far away from me….that is so far from the reality in front of me each day. Our realities are all very different and it’s important to respect what each of us are dealing with and not try to control it.
Assist in improving, yes, when needed. Helping, yes. Advocating for others who can’t cope on their own, yes. But not controlling to fit one’s own needs or narrative, if that makes sense?
Take a deep breath - things will be okay and the storm will pass. Sending a hug.
I'll keep self responsible but I am ready to do some exploring out there!
"No one would have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm."
"A well lived life means weathering a few storms. Our lessons don't come from sunny days on the beach, they come from copping a few waves on the head.”
Peace and good vibes right back atcha! Have a great weekend!
we do onto others what we do onto ourselves. self care is not selfish. it is upgrading the quality of what i have to pass onto others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV5_LQArLa0
Thanks Susan and Arfie!!